Sept 21, 2019

September 21st, 2019 -- a few lifetimes ago-- I'm watching that big, bright Ferris Wheel Ignite and elate our tourists from near and far But to me, it's not an attraction. It's a Beacon. East. Home. Back to the Nutmeg State, where I was born Deanna and learned to become her, through experiment, and loss, and friendship. and pain. And I'm blasting Lizzo at the top of my phone's lungs because she's preaching to the choir about men being thugs "Why men great 'til they gotta be great?" When I thought my future was laid out like an open picket fence I thought we'd have a family and be surrounded by friends I heard the mountains calling, and could smell the ocean breeze-- but grasping onto threads of silk kept me slipping to my knees. I was begging you to put me first-- about the ABV, But the chance of us repairing this decreased dramatically When you lied about that text-- the dealer-- and acted like a joke. You were out "getting a haircut," but you were out there -- buying coke. And all the sounds of all your anger still resonate within. Holding onto my self confidence That faded paper-thin. I'll pull myself back up again and find my truest form The kween of natured witches Igniting my own storm I'll frame my dreams and passions and paint them on my walls I'm not scared to start this all again-- theres no where left to fall.